Be Impressed, Be VERY Impressed

Sigh. I am e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d. Michael headed to Alaska Sunday morning for a week long business trip so I have been juggling the girls on my own. I wonder if there is any reason that a stay-at-home-mom would need to travel on business. Hmmmmm . . . . . sure would be nice.

So here at the end of another exhausting (yet fulfilling) day, I will ramble for a bit on a train of thought I had earlier.

Is it truly possible to be a GREAT housekeeper at the same time that you are a GREAT mommy? I am having trouble being both at the same time. I often find that one or the other is lacking. Which means that I never get to fully enjoy the one that is excelling.

Let me see if I can explain a little more clearly.

There are days when I feel like a GREAT mommy. I have engaged my kids in active play for almost the entire day. The TV played a very minimal role and we laughed, played outside, read books and just plain enjoyed each other's company. Sounds like a great day, right? Right. Until I look around at my house and see the chaos that was created by all that fun. Oh my. We're not just talking about a few toys strewn about. Oh no. We're talking dirty dishes filling the sink and spilling over onto the counter tops. A table that is caked with spilled cottage cheese and juice. Floors that are too filthy for any 9-month-old to roll upon and stacks upon stacks of unfolded laundry. I cannot rest in a house that looks like this so instead of enjoying the time I had with my babies, I instead have an overwhelming sense of guilt as I see the end of the day coming. I feel like I need to apologize and explain to the world that I really DID accomplish something with my day even though you can't tell it by the house.

Then come the GREAT housekeeper days. The laundry is folded and put away. The floors have been swept AND mopped. Ahhhh. Dishes are clean, counters cleared. The place fairly sparkles. I can look around my house with great pride. That is, until I realize that the exchange for all this sparkle is two babies who have been glued to the TV for a majority of the day. Ouch. Punch-in-the-gut.

Now I realize fully that the correct choice is to have a great mommy day. The kids are more important than a clean house. I agree completely. But it doesn't keep me from feeling guilty and stressed when the house is a mess. I know I will only have the kids at this particular age for a very short time and I need to take full advantage of it. I have my entire life to live in a clean house. I get it. I really do. But I can't help wishing I could have it both ways.

Sometimes I get so frustrated that I want to scream out my favorite four letter word. You know the one right? The one four letter word that makes you feel completely better and solves this entire dilemma:

M.A.I.D. There, I said it. Rant complete. And now, I am off to fold laundry before crashing for the evening.

Ta, ta.