Refrigerators, Screaming and Fecal Matter

Now that I have your attention, I can describe for you one of the most hectic hours of my week. A-hem . . .

Our refrigerator recently decided it was time to retire. So I have been scrambling to find a new one that has all the features we want at a reasonable price. Oh and that can be delivered ASAP. This has proved tougher than I expected.

Claire and I return home after a long day of comparison shopping exhausted and ready to crash. I timed it perfectly though. We arrived home just in time for Claire's lunch and nap. What a master of the clock I am.

. . . Pause while I pat myself on the back. . .

So we walk in to find the house smelling like a Port-a-John. I immediately look to Claire and she shoots back a look that says, "Don't even think of blaming me, I was with you all day."

I cautiously walked into the spare room that houses the dog's kennel to find that our lovely pooch, Padme, has had explosive diarrhea and the kennel is now at maximum capacity.

So now I am faced with a major dilemma of priorities. Leaving Padme in her kennel is not an option, poor thing. She is slipping and sliding everywhere. (You are welcome for the mental picture--just be glad I am not posting an ACTUAL picture!) But I can't let her out while I hold Claire because I am pretty sure BABY + DOGGIE DOO = CALL TO CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES.

I look to Claire and get another look that says, "Don't even think about putting me off. I am hungry and tired. If you don't think I can scream for the entire hour it takes you to bathe the dog and burn down the room where the incident occurred, you've got another thing coming."

So I do the only thing I can think to do. I open the kennel door allowing the poor dog to escape and do my best to one-handedly direct her along the shortest path to the back yard as she leaves lovely doggie prints on my floor in her wake. Shudder.

So the final decision here is that the dog stays outside while I feed Claire. Once Claire is down for a nap, I'll bring the pooh-laden dog back inside for a bath and then tackle the foulness of the spare room and floors. Easy choice right? Wrong.

Our dog is extremely opposed to being left alone for any amount of time. When left alone, she doesn't just bark, she shrieks and howls . . . like this:


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So this howling is going on outside for over 30 minutes while I feed Claire and put her down for a nap. My poor neighbors.

So I finally get Claire down, bathe the dog and clean out/sanitize the kennel. After scrubbing down the floors and taking a shower to remove the oogy feeling that comes with dealing with fecal matter, I finally collapse on the couch just in time for Claire to wake up from her nap. Sigh.

A mother's job is never done.